Why people scoff at “modern art”
Monday, May 19th, 2008
The Museum of Modern Art is a pretty nifty museum. There are some pretty cool things there like this little light exhibit shown above. But for every one cool exhibit, there are 10 ridiculously overpriced products in the gift shop, and 20 other examples of “modern art” that are so absolutely not cool. Hey! Let’s take a look!
The Dummy Tummy
“Hey it’s one of those helium tanks, only smaller” you say. “But that isn’t art” you say. You’re 50% right, I say. Created by some Italian… “artist”(?) this Dummy Tummy inflates proportionally to how far along mommy is with her baby. The longer the bun in the oven, the bigger the balloon. Then when mommy has the baby you “can burst the inflated stomach with the included pin and then display the remains in a special frame”. Oh okay, because that’s what happens when you have a baby… it EXPLODES. “Hey kids, let’s gather round the frame and take a look at the popped remains of little Jimmy.”
Check out MoMA page for barely much more information.
The Fertilitoy
This one is made by the same Italian… what am I supposed to call this guy because he is missing a few meatballs in his spaghetti… if you catch my stereotypically unfunny drift. This puppy is called the Fertilitoy. It’s a toy, about fertility, for kids. It consists of “child-friendly sperm, egg, and womb dolls.”
Child-friendly sperm dolls. Let’s move on.
The MoMA page is here.
The Epidermits Interactive Pet
This doozy is too bizarre to sum up, but it’s supposed to follow in the footsteps of the Tamagachi, if, instead of the Japanese, it was the cast of the Hills Have Eyes making these things. “They are fully functioning organisms resulting from advances in tissue engineering, electronics, and fuel cell research… they require minimal maintenance and can be stored in a state of forced hibernation in a standard refrigerator.” Because everyone wants a hairy slab of skin with a handle next to the apples. The MoMA page has another picture with a kid holding one. How do you know it’s photoshopped? He’s smiling.
My Bio Cow Cup Thingy and Xenotransplant
This one is extremely simple. It’s supposed to remind you that milk comes out of cows that have udders shaped like other little cows. See also the Xenotransplant. This one isn’t suppose to give kids nightmares, it’s supposed to remind them where they can go if they ever need a heart: pigs.
The iBelieve
“Hey, I don’t have enough iPod accessories, and I praise the Lord Jesus Christ for all the iPod accessories I do have” you say. Well then the iBelieve is for you, because even Jesus likes to listen to Enya whilst pumping iron in the gym… or perhaps you’re someone who finally wants a way to reduce the stares when you blatantly listen to your iPod shuffle in church.
Check out all the craziness at the Museum of Modern Art.